What do I mean by that?
Well, I guess it’s that feeling of ‘I’ll be X when I’m X.’
I’ll be happier when I’ve lost the weight.
I’ll be alright once I’ve had a day off.
I’ll start that project when I have a long period of uninterrupted time.
I find myself doing it all the time, thinking I’ll be happier when [insert thing that really doesn’t have much to do with happiness here].
Personally I find this way of thinking feeds beautifully into my all or nothing mindset, - something that I’ve been painstakingly trying to work through and understand where it comes from.
But it also further feeds into the idea that there’s no point in doing something if it’s not under the perfect condition.
Just like you might wake up on a Thursday morning and think it’s time to switch things up to, say, a healthier diet. But, it’s the end of the week so you might as well just start on Monday right?
For a while there, I wasn’t writing. I hadn’t written for days, weeks and so on. And I had to admit that it was because I hadn’t mastered a perfect routine. I couldn’t possibly write if I’d not had a morning coffee, could I? Oh and the dog needs walking. Might as well start this afternoon. Oh, it’s nearly time to think about dinner, there’s no point in starting now. I’ll do it tomorrow. Lather, rinse, repeat.
But lately and without even realising it, I’ve stopped. I’ve stopped the madness. What am I waiting for exactly? Life’s to do list is never ending. There’s always going to be chores to do, calls to make, meals to cook, rest to take.
And they’re all perfect excuses not to do the thing that you want to do.
So I’m done. Done with the excuses.
In fact, I’m (unsurprisingly) taking a leaf out my lord and saviour Taylor Swift’s book when she was asked how her creative process has evolved;
“I definitely feel more free to create now,” she said. “And I’m making more albums at a more rapid pace than I ever did before, because I think the more art you create, hopefully the less pressure you put on yourself.”
The more you do, the more you do - I like that.
This really resonates with me as at the end of this year my brain seems to have come to the same conclusion and now 'just doing it' is so much easier. And the increased output for what feels like far less effort is a delightful consequence!